NEVER LAND

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Travelling to different lands,
we still can’t find each other.
Falling onto one another,
we still can’t find whats under.
We focus on the material,
but life is in the immaterial.
We arrive to our destination
but never land.
How could that be?
We cannot escape
one place
for another
just because we land.
We carry the land with us
and we must still garden it from afar.
We re-plant
and re-build
and keep growing
even from a distance.
It is built in our nature
born in or outside of it.
The safe sound of landing
was deceiving,
it is just the beginning
of becoming closer to where we started.
Cause here I am
– continents and decades away –
reading a poem
about my Afghan land.
We have never landed.
We have never escaped.
It travels with us
like a spiritual companion.
My heart like a dead leaf
may have fallen in separation
but still it is food for the tree.
Its separation can still
play a part
for its survival.
My land like a tree during winter
is locked in a forever winter,
in a forever dormancy.
We can feel it in our
moments of emptiness,
and longing.
The leaf like my heart
will always nourish
and feed its homeland,
even through its departure.
We cannot part from the land.
It is part of who we are eternally.
It is us and what makes us us.
We are made to forever heal it
and bring it back out of its
coldest, longest winter;
out of its deadliest dormancy
and into its new season.
I am the land
and I will be reborn with it
in its long awaited Spring.
We have brought the land with us.
We have never left, for the most of us.
Except when we attempt to numb it out of us.
But do we ever arrive somewhere
when our spirits are always travelling
in between places
in between time
and their moments
that we carry or bury?
The land has been an illusion
for me of escape
just like time has been.
I’ve never left
and Ive never been without it.
I am my native land
and my native land is me.
I may not be on the land
but the land lives
within me
in my purpose, it breathes.
From my spirit,
I never land.
No matter how hard
I or we try to escape.
It represents the essence of true love…
it can be buried
but it can never die,
it can never be lost,
it will always be within us.
Even when we hate
what its become.
Even when its season
is ugly and terrifying.
Even when we must
take a safe distance,
We continue to love it blindly
Unconditionally
Hopelessly
for it to return
awake
and bloom again….
Did we ever land?

– Laila Re

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